Starting Over...

Starting Over....

It's been about 9 months since I have blogged.  
So sorry.

I've started about 5 posts that never came to fruition. 
I guess I didn't want to put the time into my "little gig" since I needed sleep, more. 

Here is what happened.

I was asked at the beginning of the school year to take over a 6th grade class for a teacher that was going on a pregnancy leave. She ended up having a C-section, which lead to 2 more weeks than I had imagined and she also took 2 weeks off before having her baby, which together, added another month. I ended my 6th grade class in December.  What a wonderful experience! I did blog during that stint.  Ha ha, ONCE.

In January, I began substitute teaching again at the same school, working with small groups 3 times each week until February. Although I had been asked to take a Kindergarten class in April (maternity leave), in late February, I was asked to take a 3rd Grade Gifted Class for yet another teacher who had an emergency maternity leave earlier than expected.  I literally jumped in- had not prepared for it, and had not expected to be in that class but from one day to the next, my entire situation had changed.

My old self would have been totally stressed out.

"I'm not prepared, I've never taught a Gifted Class", 
and here is the BIG one,

 " I don't know if I'm GOOD ENOUGH to be their substitute".  

Question after question, excuse after excuse came whispering in my mind like a draft under a closed door.

It's comical that my Master's Degree was totally discounted, along with my 11+ years of teaching experience, 
plus,
 I am an "older" woman, and I should "know better". 

That's when I felt a sense of peace. 

I was reassured by the Holy Spirit, who reminded me,

 "You are ENOUGH. 

You are competent,  intelligent, and ...fearfully and wonderfully made."  

"How do I know this to be true?" I questioned myself.

"Because I made you", testified the Lord.

I walked into that classroom, confident, hopeful and reassured that I was there for a reason, and guess what? 

I was the perfect person for that classroom.

(ha ha, at least that's what I told myself!)

Now, did I make some mistakes? 

Sure I did, but not any that come to mind.

(none that would traumatize the students)

Was I unprepared at times? 

Yes, but my experience helped me keep the students learning and was unnoticed.

Did I ever feel insecure? 

Yes, but every single time I did, I felt God's heavenly hands support my back, ease my mind and remind me that I am HIS!  

It was as if I had put one of those big cone hats on myself (the ones that said, DUMMY") and he removed it and replaced it with a 

BIG "S" on my chest.

And the more I put into the students, the more I got out of them.

I fell in love with this 3rd grade class and I hated for the last day to come, but it did...

and it is over.

B-Bye

What lessons I learned from this experience.

1. God taught me to TRUST Him, at another level.

"I lean on, trust in, and am confident in the Lord with all my heart and mind and I do not rely on m own insight or understanding. In all my ways I know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He directs and makes straight and plain my paths." Proverbs 3:5-6

2. God reminded me that He NEVER leaves me, anywhere I am, in anything I do.

"God Himself has said, He will not in any way fail me nor give me up nor leave me without support." Hebrews 13:5

3.God will be there to catch me if I fall. (when) 

I am rescued...every. single. time.   (reminder!!!)

The Lord my God holds my right hand; He is the Lord, Who says to me, Fear not; I will help you!" Isaiah 41:13

4.He has prepared me for each day, for every moment,

 and I need to be in the present to SEE that.

I cast the whole of my care on Him, for He cares for me affectionately and cares about me watchfully. 1Peter 5:7

5.Lastly, God and I are a TEAM. I can LEAN on Him, RELY on Him.

"I fear not, for God is with me; I am not dismayed; for He is my God. He will strengthen me, yes, He will help me, He will uphold me with His righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

  I can do more TOGETHER with his SPIRIT than I will ever be able to do by.my.self.

And I am still learning. 

Every Day.

How about YOU?