Spice Up Your Marriage!

I want to thank the Mom's Club of RSM (north?) for allowing me into your group for an evening of fun and fellowship.

I was invited to speak on "Spicing Up Your Marriage" and was there to encourage and give some practical ways to add a little chili pepper to some areas of your marriage.

There are so many ways that we can uplift our marriage and make our husband feel like he is needed, important, respected and desired in our lives.

This is a very condensed version of what was shared that night- Thanks again for having me!

One way is to be his Cheerleader!

Encourage one another as long as it is today... Hebrews 3:13

Be on his side! Let him know he is the Star Quarterback of your team and don't treat him like the water-boy! (yes, I'm guilty!!!!) When he shares about his day, listen! You may not even understand what he is talking about, but listen anyways. When he tells you some good news, be excited for him! TELL him how proud of him you are! Remember that you are team-mates and not opponents! And behind every great man is a great woman....and that's YOU!

Be his Prayer Warrior!

Be joyful always; pray continually..........1 Thessalonians 5:16-17

Do you pray for him regularly? Remember that he walks out of your home unprotected from all the spiritual and emotional arrows that are being thrown at him. Be his warrior as well as a prayer warrior for your family! If you don't do it, who will? I pray that my husband's eyes, ears, mind and heart will be protected from all the worldly stimulus that is coming at him 24-7. I also regularly ask God to help ME to be a good wife, mother and friend to him. I'm not good at any of those and am usually more concerned about my own well being vs. his. I pray for guidance in the choices I have to make for our family, patience with our children as well as with him and for a servant's heart that God will bless.

Be his Love Partner!

Love is not rude............1 Corinthians 13:5

Ok- foreplay starts when he gets home with a big WELCOME! When your husband walks through the door do you look up at him and say, "Hey," with a nod, or do you drop whatever you are doing and go to him and greet him with a BIG HUG and kiss? Every man would love to come home to a hug and kiss- this also keeps him from looking for the physical touch outside of the marriage- being appreciated. You want to be a big golden retriever, happy to see him and showing him you are happy to see him!

If you're not happy in the bedroom, you have GOT to do something about it. Express gently, what you want and what makes you feel good, so that you can make him feel good! It's a WIN-WIN situation!!

Here were some fun suggestions that I shared and some that the ladies shared!

1. Sticky notes- put sticky notes all over the inside of his car while he is at work, with things like, "you rock! I love you! You're the best! Best DAD, Best Husband, You are loved" or scribbles from the kids- make sure to hide some in other places so that even after he has cleaned up all the notes, he will find them even after the event and feel loved.

2. Loading his toothbrush- (from friend at church) putting toothpaste on his toothbrush when you are putting it on yours

3. Warming up his towel or bathrobe in the dryer so when he comes out of the shower it is nice an warm for him. (harder if you have a two-story and the dryer is downstairs)

4.Praying over your husband before he leaves for work (thanks Shannon!)

5.Getting into bed before him naked........

6.Taking a hot bath together

7.Getting a cheap hotel for lunchtime......remember that song, "Afternoon Delight"?

8.Suprising him with a night at home w/out kids---arrange for babysitting!

9. Putting your cute panties in his laptop! This is a good one- and you will immediately get a call from him at work! Memorable, too!

10. Text him or call him at work and let him know you are thinking about him in that way!

Be creative! Sometimes the spontaneous times are the most memorable!!!

And remember that any good relationship takes work- God created your spouse to grow you and sharpen you!!!!

Please do not hesitate to post other suggestions! We are all a work in progress~ blessings!

Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Fruitful Friendships~

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
"Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if one falls, the other one will lift her up; but woe to her that is ALONE for when she falls; she doesn't have another to help her up."

I was very blessed to be able to speak to the MIssion HIlls Community Church Mom2Mom group this morning. What a wonderful group!
I spoke on developing "Fruitful Friendships" and the characteristics that develop these special relationships.

C- Usually friends come out of some kind of commonality or similarity- your life may overlap with someone who enjoys similar interests, and there is usually some commonality in lifestyle, etc.

H- Good friends HELP you emotionally! Did you know that most disorders treated by therapists/psychologists are relational in nature. Anxiety, social detachment, and depression are some of the emotional problems often resulting from relational voids!

R- Risk can take your friendship to a whole other level...it's being completely honest, authentic, genuine and truthful. It's sharing things about yourself that you may not be proud of, but it is a part of who you are.

I- Intimacy is a positive result from risking in your relationship!
You grow closer and a bond forms that is difficult to break- it's sharing your dreams, goals and fears.

S- Sacrifice and Service is what you will do for a friend..... friends bend over backwards for friends. Will you go out of your way for your friend?

T- With TIME, Trust is built. What a beautiful gift to have a friend that you can trust......someone to confide in, and share your secrets with.

"When we honestly ask ourselves which perso in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share out pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing not healing and face WITH US the reality of our POWERLESSNESS, that is a friend who cares."
Henri Nouwen

I am blessed beyond words to have my two wonderful, wacky and wise BFF's Gina and Lisa. They love me as I am and help me to be the best ME inspite of all of my weirdness. Don't we ALL need friends like these?
Take those risks and extend a hand- who knows who God will put in your path.......be open!

Thank you again to MHCC for allowing me to spend a wonderful morning with you!
Be blessed~

January 21, 2010

Happy Birthday Dad, and Happy Birthday John!

Today I attended my first class called, "Speak On Him", where I will have an opportunity to grow and develop my speaking and writing skills. I laugh because I have always disliked writing and was scared to death to speak or even be in front of others....will always rememeber crying, yes, crying when a visitor would come over to our house. We always had nice people visit, so why the crying? I was afraid...afraid of this NEW person...yes, call me a Scaredy Cat.
Also, when I was in Kindergarten, we had a Winter Play, and I remember being dressed in mittens, a big puffy jacket, a hat and a scarf (maybe even some cheesy, bright colored plastic rain boots)and we were all lined up on the side of the auditorium waiting for our turn to go up the stairs to sing, I'm guessing, and I burst out in tears....never went up on stage, either!
In Intermediate School, I have NO IDEA why I would compete in our Speech Contest, but I did. I memorized Martin Luther King's speech "I have a dream". I think I got second place, but this is where I remember my eyes starting to water whenever I spoke in front of groups...
It happened when I had to give my speech while running for ASB Vice President...I think they all felt sorry for me and voted for me....I won! ha ha

All this to say, that God has taken something that I have always feared deeply, more deeply than anyone knows and HE has turned it into a blessing that I can share-
so I'm taking this class as an act of FAITH...I don't feel truly confident about my speaking or writing skills, but I'm here anyway because of FAITH. The bible says in Matthew 17: 20 "If you have faith as small as a mustard seed,you can say to this mountain,move from htere to there and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you"....I think I may have that much! :-)
Faith is ACTION- it is believing in something BEFORE you see it, it is taking a step onto a stone that you CANNOT see and onto a PATH that leads to the unknown!!!
I'm excited on this new path...scared as heck, but feeling quite alive!
I have to remember that this is a new year, and because I want new and different results, I will be doing new and different things to see those results...