January 21, 2010

Happy Birthday Dad, and Happy Birthday John!

Today I attended my first class called, "Speak On Him", where I will have an opportunity to grow and develop my speaking and writing skills. I laugh because I have always disliked writing and was scared to death to speak or even be in front of others....will always rememeber crying, yes, crying when a visitor would come over to our house. We always had nice people visit, so why the crying? I was afraid...afraid of this NEW person...yes, call me a Scaredy Cat.
Also, when I was in Kindergarten, we had a Winter Play, and I remember being dressed in mittens, a big puffy jacket, a hat and a scarf (maybe even some cheesy, bright colored plastic rain boots)and we were all lined up on the side of the auditorium waiting for our turn to go up the stairs to sing, I'm guessing, and I burst out in tears....never went up on stage, either!
In Intermediate School, I have NO IDEA why I would compete in our Speech Contest, but I did. I memorized Martin Luther King's speech "I have a dream". I think I got second place, but this is where I remember my eyes starting to water whenever I spoke in front of groups...
It happened when I had to give my speech while running for ASB Vice President...I think they all felt sorry for me and voted for me....I won! ha ha

All this to say, that God has taken something that I have always feared deeply, more deeply than anyone knows and HE has turned it into a blessing that I can share-
so I'm taking this class as an act of FAITH...I don't feel truly confident about my speaking or writing skills, but I'm here anyway because of FAITH. The bible says in Matthew 17: 20 "If you have faith as small as a mustard seed,you can say to this mountain,move from htere to there and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you"....I think I may have that much! :-)
Faith is ACTION- it is believing in something BEFORE you see it, it is taking a step onto a stone that you CANNOT see and onto a PATH that leads to the unknown!!!
I'm excited on this new path...scared as heck, but feeling quite alive!
I have to remember that this is a new year, and because I want new and different results, I will be doing new and different things to see those results...