Big Love, Big Loss, Big Hurt

I don't know who said this, but this is how I live and will continue to live...

"Better to have loved and to have lost,

than to not have loved at all".

Phone rings at 9:15 ish

"Wonder who that is calling after 9?"

(this can't be good)

"Hello?"

(it's my girlfriend, Gina)

"Hi Jan, are you on your computer?"

"No, I'm working on my talk for Wednesday"

"Are you sitting down?"

(uh oh, this can't be good)

"Yes, what's going on?"

"Joan Horner passed away today"

cricket...

( in Janet-eese, it means "silence")

cricket...

Gina was completely silent...

I began sobbing uncontrollably..

Gina gave me the rest of the details...she passed peacefully from heart failure,

in lieu of flowers....

the memorial service...

the family asks....

My dear friend Joan,

I will miss you more than I can express.

Thank you for being a Godly Mentor, Model and Friend.

I am so lucky that I got to know her,

work with her,

laugh with her and

love her.

She will be deeply missed, by me and others all over the world.

-another hole in my heart-

more pain

more hurt

more tears

but I Am so very grateful....

and would jump at the opportunity AGAIN

to know this woman...

"Better to have loved and lost than to not have loved at all..."

She is with God- beyond a shadow of a doubt-

in His presence

in His arms

in His LOVE

"I am the way and the TRUTH and the LIFE. No one comes to the Father except through me"

John 14:6

Joni Eareckson Tada

Most of you don’t know that I am Premier Designs “Jewelry Lady”.

I have been involved with Premier Designs for over 8 years and have been truly blessed by being a part of this company. It is biblically based and the focus has been and always will be on SERVING our customers.

I just got home from our National Rally where the New Fall Line is introduced along with fabulous training, inspiration and motivation.

They often have very well known speakers, such as Josh McDowell, Dennis Swanberg, Ellie Kay, and Joni Eareckson Tada.

Joni was on our agenda to speak this week. If you don’t know who she is, she is a strong Christian woman who inspires people all over the world as she shares about how God has given her hope and a purpose.

Joni is a quadripalegic.

She lost the use of her arms and legs in an accident as a young girl and has been in a wheel chair ever since.

Our Co-Founder, Joan Horner and Joni are good friends. I’ve been to Joan’s home and have seen all of Joni’s books and even an original painting by Joni.

At Joni’s scheduled time to speak at the Rally, instead of Joni coming out in person, there was a video instead.

Joni could not attend the National Rally because she found out that she has breast cancer.

Of all things….cancer.

This woman has gone through so very much and has come through a warrior for the lord, and now she has a new battle to fight.

When I went outside to purchase Joni’s book and a devotional that she wrote, I told the gal behind the table that I would be praying for Joni.

The gal was grateful and said that THAT was what she needed. That when Joni found out she would have to have her breast removed, she didn’t ask God, “WHY?”.

She knows that God is using her and will continue to use her in this situation.

What would you have done?

I have to be honest….I don’t know that I would have had the same response…in fact, I’m sure I would not have.

I doubt that I would be as strong as Joni.

I doubt that I would see my misgiving as an opportunity to serve others through it…

I doubt that I would even be thinking about anyone else except myself.

In fact, as I continue to heal with the loss of my father, I quickly got a new perspective on my life and my blessings, and my hurt cannot compare to hers.

What can I complain about that would even compare to Joni? NOTHING…..nothing.

Lord, be with Joni. Give her peace that surpasses all understanding, strength and courage knowing that YOU will never leave or forsake her. Lord, allow healing and give her comfort as she goes through her surgery.

And Lord, bless Joni.

Bless her abundantly more than she can ask or imagine…

as she serves the one and only high God….

our Lord,

and our Savior.